Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Train called life...

John 16:21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
As I sit here and watch your perfectly created face sleep, I'm thinking back 10 months ago when I found out I was pregnant with you. It was a big shock, but I never thought of you as a mistake. You were perfectly planned and knitted in my womb by God.

I was terrified of labor and delivery. I was terrified of being a mom. I was terrified that I was not in control. I had no choice in what you would look like, what gender you are, what you will be when you get older or how healthy you are.

The only choices I have are in how I raise you and love you unconditionally. I was watching the Today Show this morning. There was a lady on there who had a daughter that has autism and is deaf. It never crossed her mind that her daughter may never hear her voice or be able to speak when she was pregnant. It made me think about how I have no control over your life. I can control certain things, but it's ultimately God who is driving this train called life.

People kept telling me to pray for a healthy baby and pray for a healthy pregnancy. I kept saying that I wanted a healthy baby and pregnancy, but I was praying for God's will with this pregnancy. How selfish could I be to want something other than his perfect plan for my life? Praying or wanting anything other than that would mean that I don't trust him.
2 Samuel 22:31 This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
We need to quit demanding things in life. While I would never wish anything terrible on any child, God can use any situation to glorify him and how selfish can we be to take that glory away from him.  Lily, God chose you to be a girl born to your father and I. He chose a path for your life. I pray you follow him. I pray you live according to his will. Don't seek after your own selfish desires. Accept and be grateful for what he has blessed you with and the plan he has for your life.


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